Alcohol

There are many ways a person can have fun, theme parks provide a valuable service to those who seek the thrill of adrenaline coursing through their veins, whilst for those who would prefer something rather less organic to be coursing through their veins, there is always class A drugs.  For those who don’t have the courage to board rollercoasters nor the funds to maintain a drug addiction, alcohol is a suitable alternative, providing a short term high and loss of inhibitions, followed - a few drinks later - by a state of complete amnesia.  Alcohol, if enjoyed in relative moderation (relative to George Best) is not only a thirst quenching beverage but a remarkably effective social tool providing links between beautiful people and those less physically blessed for centuries. 

A common sight most Saturday nights

Another point to be added to the list of pros when it comes to alcohol is the variety of forms in which it can be consumed.  For men there is beer, which in itself has a plethora of variations to please every pallet.  Bitter; for the older generations and those who like to gain weight while they drink, comes in many elaborately and ominously named forms, Old Peculiar and Tangle Foot to name two such poisons.  Lager is Bitter’s less robust and fizzier cousin and can leave you bloated and looking pregnant after around four pints.  It is the drink of choice amongst young to middle aged men and is the reason why a lot of stag nights take a sour turn at one stage or another.  Wine is consumed by those who wish to get legless with a sense of class, whilst ciders such as White Ace and Frosty Jacks are the drink of choice for those on a budget or devoid of taste buds.  Curiously as the night comes to end the need to drink escalates and young revellers can often be seen scrambling around in the vicinity of the bar, fighting with their wallets in order to purchase one final round of unimaginably strong and unpleasant shots.  This can often make or break the night and can be the difference between taking a member of the opposite sex home for a night of clumsy, uncoordinated debauchery and throwing up on them. 

Tequila, I feel, deserves a paragraph to itself. A highly debilitating brand of alcohol deriving from South America, its consumption is a sure fire way to ensure a hangover of biblical proportions the following day.  On three separate occasions I have made the mistake of introducing Tequila to my system and on each occasion the outcome has been the same, as I am left unable to see or speak in a pool of my own vomit.  Graphic this may be but hopefully it serves as an effective deterrent for anyone who was considering consuming it later on this evening.

There are many occasions on which alcohol is a suitable accompaniment to the festivities and 18^th birthday parties are possibly the Holy Grail.  Often this is the first occasion that a person is introduced to the joys of alcohol and it is the first time that they have not had to disguise their Vodka Lemonade in an empty Sprite bottle and polish it off in a dark alley by the side of KFC, for fear of having it confiscated by the long arm of the law.  Once 18 the shackles of sobriety are off and you are free to sample such delights as Jaegerbombs, Sambuca shots and Vodka Redbull as you please.

‘Pre-drinking’ is a phenomenon that has grown in popularity in recent years; the idea – as the name would suggest - is to commence drinking before you hit the town, in order to make a saving.  The concept is a savvy one and is helping many of us stumble through the sobering financial climate, bleary eyed and, as Homer Simpson once said, ‘Beer, the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems’.

Tonight being Saturday there will be a large number of you reading this who are preparing for a night on the tiles, some of you may have already started drinking and I salute you.  Your endeavour to brave the elements and laugh in the face of recession is admirable.  Please remember however that alcohol does funny things to the mind, it impairs your judgement and leaves you bereft of your faculties which can result in some questionable decision making.  A prime example of this is the massive increase in the number of Kebabs sold in the early hours; anyone in their right mind would leave this particular delicacy well alone and the taste that remains in the morning, which adds to the misery of the hangover, is testament to this.  I will leave you now, as I often do with a little video for your collective amusement.  We’ve all been drunk before, but I think it’s safe to say that on the morning that this video was shot, this man was the most-drunken specimen on the planet. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7a7l7IHXZwk&feature=fvwrel The choice of backing music, I think you’ll agree, is a nice touch.  Enjoy and drink responsibly.